Mary Gazdar 1915-1998
MARY ‘MOLLIE’ GASPER nee GAZDAR 1915 - 1998
My Mother was the youngest of three children born to James Henry Gazdar, son of the Parsi barrister Jamshedji Jivanji Gazdar (JJG), and JHG’s wife Mary nee Peatfield. She remembered visits with parents and siblings to JJG’s charming early Georgian country house Fox Hall near Upminster with its lovely gardens and small dairy herd. They were a small child’s golden memories of a background of apparent stability and wealth. Her father was an engineer and a motorist; they took little motoring holidays along the Welsh coast. Darker events were to follow; JJG died when she was seven and Fox Hall was sold to developers. JHG, her father, who my Mother adored, seems to have generated discord and rivalry within the family; he left the relationship when my Mother was aged 12. She attended Bury Convent as a boarder as did her sister, but home life with little money in a rented house with lodgers was a difficult experience for all. Her brother and sister left Manchester to seek their fortunes elsewhere, but my Mother took office work in town and lived with her mother until her marriage to Malcolm Gasper in 1941. They bought a suburban house near to my Granny Gazdar, and led quite restricted lives with few friends. My Mother loved dogs, and in childhood had had a beloved family pet called Rags; she went on to acquire firstly Paddy, a lovely wire-haired fox terrier who would visit me in my cot when I called him, and later dogs in increasing numbers. She had a lifetime involvement with care for the elderly; she took in a poor Aunt to live with us until her death, and through the 1950s and 60s she delivered meals on wheels with the WVS/WRVS to the poorer districts of Manchester and Salford - in later years her work had official recognition. She went on to found a luncheon club for the elderly in Church Lane, Prestwich. She was a good traditional cook, with a pleasure in shopping for high quality meat, butter and cream and for salmon, a real luxury in the 1950s. She went to local auctions and enjoyed buying antiques. She was a woman of taste, an attractive woman with a degree of vanity, enjoying clothes shopping in the pricier Manchester shops in her earlier days. She was capable of great generosity. With increasing age and available capital she functioned with great financial modesty, with little interest in travel or in serious luxury. Her home and dogs were central to her life. I need to Incorporate this
Known as Molly
1915. Mary Gazdar was born to James Henry Gazdar & Mary Peatfield on 23/4/1915 Manchester Jun 1915. B C lists her father, Henry James Gazdar, as "Engine Fitter (journeyman) of 211 Great Cheetham Street Higher Broughton".
The 3rd of 3 children: others were Emily G J Gazdar 23/7/1912 Tranmere and John Gazdar 12/1/1914 at . 211 Great Cheetham Street Higher Broughton
She could remember visiting her grandfather Jamshetji J Gazdar in Essex, seeing his Queen Anne country house ( Upton Hall) and little dairy herd - she was seven when he died.in 1922 - Nigel
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Mary Gazdar ~1917 . . . . . . . Emilie and Mary Gazdar, and their father, likely in Foxhall gardens ~ 1917
~1927. Her father deserted the family, leaving it in poverty. They had to take in lodgers. My mother was quite obsessively distracted by angers with brother and sister, and idolisation of the appalling James Henry; she could not allow her mind to roam freely and disinterestedly over the past. The delights of Fox Hall and its garden and little dairy herd, and of a tall handsome father to whom she felt very close, were the unforgettable joys, and her Father's betrayal when she was about twelve could not really be absorbed into her perspective on life. He remained an object of worship.
She met her husband to be in kindergarden.
1939 Register. Cannot find her, even inputting her exact date of birth . Nor her mother, nor her brother John
1941. She married Malcolm F W Gaspar Manchester Jun 1941
Mary arriving for her wedding, alongside brother John
Nigel M Gasper was born Heywood Sep 1948, an only child - Heywood ~33 k E of Bury, ~20 k N of Manchester . He married as Gaspar in 1984 to Vivien Bellamy
Malcolm with his father, Gregory, and wife, Mary (Gazdar) ~1962
1956. Her mother died of cancer- Mary nurtured her hopelessly through this time. Her blind anger was directed at John and Jean on Granny's death. I was forbidden ever to contact John and 'Jean' - I only did so in my late 30s , around 1987, when my mother had a breakdown and I wanted to make sense of this bizarre family; I was on a course in London and arranged to visit my aunt. I'm glad I did, and she was overjoyed.
She had a lifetime involvement with care for the elderly; she took in a poor Aunt to live with us until her death, and through the 1950s and 60s she delivered meals on wheels with the WVS/WRVS to the poorer districts of Manchester and Salford - in later years her work had official recognition. She went on to found a luncheon club for the elderly in Church Lane, Prestwich. She was a good traditional cook, with a pleasure in shopping for high quality meat, butter and cream and for salmon, a real luxury in the 1950s. She went to local auctions and enjoyed buying antiques. She was a woman of taste, an attractive woman with a degree of vanity, enjoying clothes shopping in the pricier Manchester shops in her earlier days. She was capable of great generosity. With increasing age and available capital she functioned with great financial modesty, with little interest in travel or in serious luxury. Her home and dogs were central to her life
1980s . She had a breakdown.
1998. Mary Gasper, 83, died Bury Dec 1998- Ancestry
My mother's birth certificate (23.4.1915) lists her father Henry James Gazdar as "Engine Fitter (journeyman) of 211 Great Cheetham Street Higher Broughton". Her brother John was born into the same address in 12.1.1914; their older sister who called herself Jeanette had been born "Emilie" in Tranmere, 23.7.1912. John ultimately confronted his father in an Irish bar; he had tracked him down to check there were no more children to complicate inheritance matters, on which he seems to have had a special focus! John, a London barrister, died of cancer in his 50s. There was no reconciliation with my mother following the death of their mother in the 50's .I made fresh contact with Emilie/Jeanette in Surbiton in the 1980s when my mother had a breakdown, wanting to make sense of dysfunction. Emilie/'Jeanette died unmarried c.2000 with much of JJ's stunning Indian furniture and her father's splendid regency furniture and other antiques in her flat. Most went to John's son Gerald, but she kindly left Hugh and myself a substantial sum each from the Parsee inheritance.- Nigel
Emilie G J Gazdar died c 2000.